Poem: Sex, Marriage, & Fairytales

Poem by: Jeffrey Bethke

I realized Disney movies and chick flicks, they’ve put us in a weird position,
They’ve distorted our reality, we forget they are fiction,
Because in marriage we either get better or bitter, either joy or remorses,
Whatever were doing ain’t working, just look at the rate of divorces
So, how’s your marriage? I mean c’mon let’s just be honest,
Marriage seems to some more like a prison, than the paradise they were promised
We thought marriage was supposed to fulfill us and make us happy, not lonely
But the truth is His first priority is making you holy.

You say “no one told me,” and it feels so odd
That dating felt like a vacation, while marriage feels like a job,
Yet the secret of joy, if we just pull back our facade,
Is realizing most problems arise when we elevate our spouse to God
Without knowing it we’ve fulfilled romans 1:25
By our actions exchanged the truth about God for a lie,
We’ve exchanged God for lesser, created things,
It’s like a husband trading his wife for a 2d image on a screen,
Hoping it’ll set us free, just to find on the fumes were choking,
Cuz if your marriage rests on anything but Jesus, it’s resting on something broken.
Yet guys continually sacrifice their marriage on the altar of sex and lust,
I mean if our dollars were honest they’d say in “pleasure we trust”
So men grow up, put down the controller,
How about you lead her with grace, instead of trying to control her

Now I’ve never been married but I’m a product of one that was non-existent,
So don’t tell me I don’t understand, don’t tell me I just don’t get it
So for the singles, become friends first, before you become lovers,
Pursue Christ as your foundation, before you get under the covers,
Because believe me a strong friendship before marriage, will make a good marriage after,
friendship isn’t just sex, its deep conversation and laughter.
I mean some spouses barely even like each other, and the marriage seems like a dead end.
You might share a checkbook and a bed, but are you actually friends?
I mean if marriage isn’t a commitment, then what’s the point of the vows we say?
Til death do us apart, really means until the feelings goes away.
Like, “ill stay with him but only until it gets tough and my love shifts”,
But I say imagine if a parent took that perspective with her kids,
Like can’t you see it, the minute the kid spills food on the floor,
The mom saying “son I’m leaving, I’m just not in love with you anymore.”
No its just like marriage, to last you need the strength from above,
Because it’s not the love that sustains the promise, it’s the promise that sustains the
love.

I mean think about it, out of anyone who has had the right to leave?
God had every reason in the world, yet he still came for you and me,
And on the cross he paid it all he took our shame and set us free,
When he could’ve called down legions of angels, he chose to stay on that tree.
From the cross he looks you in the eye, and says I’m taking this for my bride,
When you trust in me, you no longer have to hide!
Because of me it is finished, you have been made new!
Spotless, blameless there’s no sin in you!

His death was a proposal, he wanted you no matter the cost,
Where some guys propose on a knee, Jesus proposed on a cross.
So whether husband or wife, read Ephesians 5,
Wife honor your husband, husbands give up your life,
Just like Jesus gave himself, for his bride the church,
So men lead by serving, by putting her first
Lastly both spouses die to self, put your flesh on a life sentence,
Because you don’t fall out of love as much as you fall out of repentance.

Related: Poem: Sexual Healing &

Jefferson Bethke’s Facebook

About Prayson Daniel

Prayson Daniel is a Tanzanian, married to Lea and a father to Eloise. Reformed theology, philosophy of religion, apologetics and church history are areas he enjoy reading, pondering and sharing with a motto "when love comes first, disagreement follows at its right and proper place".

9 comments

  1. Excellent! Great point–just because one has never been married does not mean the person is ignorant on the subject. I’ve known people who’ve been married for years and are still clueless about what is required to have a good [let alone a great] marriage.

  2. “Because it’s not the love that sustains the promise, it’s the promise that sustains the love.”

    Beautifully stated!

  3. Beautiful poem! If I give proper attribution may I use this?

  4. This is a well-expressed, thoughtful perspective on marriage. I’m glad I read it. I’m surprised that you “liked” my post, however, since I say the opposite of what you say here. Thanks for giving your support to my post on atheism! It shows that we can all get along.

  5. Great video – right on! Thanks for this “ministry.”

  6. I like the poem. It’s so chillingly true. To death to us part or so they say!

    ~ E

  7. This is exactly what happened in my marriage recently. We’ve been married 21 years, and suddenly I was in the throes of some really hard truths…mainly, that I’d made my husband my god instead of Jesus. The link is here if you are interested…

    http://birdmartin.wordpress.com/2012/04/24/im-a-casualty-in-my-husbands-war-against-time/

    I am really enjoying your site! It is really hitting home for me.

    – Bird

  8. gail mullins

    This is so inspiring – can’t stop watching the video

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